So I was up very late last night (or should I say this morning?) after remembering that this morning was my Minnesota Geography final - a week earlier than all my other classes. I spent most the my time before that realization sitting in a rut trying to write/B.S. a paper that I already had a one week extension on. Needless to say the paper did not get finished. The page requirement was 5-6 pages, so I was aiming for four. At quarter to midnight I had one and a half pages and decided if I could just get to three, that would be satisfactory, eh? Then I decided if I am not even going to TRY and be near the page requirement, why turn it in on time?
My attention then shifted to my Composition research/analytical paper that I had to have a draft of by class time today. I was just starting, but have had half of the semester to prepare for it. I am now sitting in the hall at school sweating like a boy being approached by his junior high crush - wondering why. why. WHY. I always put myself in this position. I wait until the last minute to get things done, which causes me to rush on them when I finally do start on them.
Things always work out fairly well, but I am left now wondering what my full potential is, or could be if I was an organized, responsible, dedicated student. I know I can get A's and B's without cheating, and get them doing what I do now. But WHAT IF. What if I just sat down every night and actually did something constructive? I wouldn't be missing anything important - my life revolves around a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, energy drinks, and facebook. Not that I hate my life and I am saying things suck, but there is SO MUCH MORE OUT THERE.
I look around and see people who spent 20 years in the bottle, just getting better and turning their life around. I have a chance at life that they missed out on when they were younger. I am completely and UTTERLY blessed to have been extended the hand of the fellowship........
I might write more later, but I realised I just spent another twenty minutes writing about how I procrastinate on school work. But it just struck me: is everything I am typing right now always running through my head?? No wonder I get nothing done...
I think too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment