So I am just recovering from what people call a "summer cold". Uhhh, what?! That shit is too contradictory, even for me. I can go all winter getting only one tiny cold, but as soon as it gets nice out my throat feels like it is a bed of hot coals and may close completely at any second, and my entire body aches. As far as I am concerned, there is no worse feeling than having an aching body without doing any kind of physical activity. It is almost enough to make me want to be active - until I remember what that involves: getting off the internet, putting on something other than terribly matched plaid and horizontal stripped shirts with obnoxiously colorful/dirty worn out shoes that are hardly suitable for walking, let alone exercising.

Then I recall the one and only experience I have at a gym as an actual member. I got a membership at LA Fitness not long after new years, not as a New Year's Resolution, but just because that happened to be when I had the money/motivation to go in and do the minor paper work involved. I didn't go for the first week, but then decided to go to a spin class with my friend Ashley, who I had made a deal with to be exercise partners with. Now, for someone who has played some sports before in the past, from community league soccer ( I quit T-ball after they took the tee away) to JV Tennis (my sophomore year of HS to keep me 'out of trouble'), I was no where near mentally prepared for a spin class. Me and Ashley are stretching for a bit before the class starts, and I am busy observing the other people who would be cycling. So far, no indication I am out of my league. In fact, there are a few people I am sure were over the age of 65; I could totally do this.

We get settled on cycles, doing a little warm up stuff, so far so good. Just like riding a bike, eh? Well, then the music starts bumping and the lady from behind the front counter (who happens to be more than a little intimidating and VERY intense) grabs the bike meant for the leader/instructor person. She tells us to put the resistance of the bikes at 90 degrees and to "Go, go, go! You can do it guys, Just thirty more second then we'll lower it to 45!".

Uhhhh, WHAT?! Thirty second?! 90 degrees?! No, I can not even move the pedals at 90 degrees. But I am not going to punk out in the first thirty second. It was only a half hour class right? Wrong. Ashley told me half way through it was 45 minutes. That was a lie too!! The shit was one hour long, and it only got worse. We were going from sitting, to standing, to pedaling as hard as we can, to "taking it easy" (which is hard to do when the whole time you have been gasping for air from the get go). By the end I was simply sitting on my bike, no resistance, but pedaling, trying to keep from throwing up. The 65 year old next to me was still going strong, and apparently didn't want the class to end.

Lesson learned: Exercise is actually bad for you. Especially cycling.

Needless to say I did not return to LA Fitness. Ever. To this day. I get shivers thinking about it.

Now, after hopefully not overdosing on Ricola and ice cream, I bid you ado. Adue? Ahh-dooh. Pfft, the French.

"I think we're going crazy. Her left eye is lazy. She looks so Israeli. Nicotine and Gravy." -Beck