Well, here we go again. The cycle is starting again. We have fun, things seem good, then no more texts or calls or contact what-so-ever. AKA Rejection.

It isn't that I feel like I am this amazing guy and it is ridiculous for anyone not to want to hang out with me. Believe, I am not that delusional/conceded. But really, at least say something. I am really aggravated that things never go my way. And by never of course I mean whenever I really really really want something regardless of it's consequences/outcome. And when I say I am aggravated I mean not praying enough or thinking of myself non-stop. What, you expect me to spend my free time trying to find YOU some tail/relationship? as if.

All I really wanted tonight was to go to the 90's. I don't care with whom I went, because hopefully I would find someone else to dance with, and if there are more of us then no one is left alone. I feel like a creep just going down there alone. Seems too much like I am cruising... which I am not, I just wanted to be social. But as it would turn out, the one weekend I am free enough to go to the 90's, everyone is occupied. Buuuullshiiiiiit.

So. Having reflected on what was just going through my head, and re-reading what I have just typed, I realize that there is no way all these happenings are the Universe attacking me and making my life miserable, and that it is nothing more than me sinking back into a terrible habit of self will run riot, and selfish/self seeking motives ruling over my (for the most part) rational thoughts.

First of all: If I know the Universe (and I do), he would never just do that to someone - intentionally make there life aggravating. The aggravation is purely my own doing.

Second: If I could take two steps back and assess what is REALLY going on with my mood, I just might be able to clear my head enough to be of some usefulness to someone else.

In other words. I have just had a change in perspective. I believe this would also be the workings of the promises in my life. This is a situation that not only used to baffle me, but obviously still does... and I was able to handle it in a rather reasonable manner.

That is, if we are forgetting about the moments that I was stomping my feet and whining like a child (all to go to a gay bar).

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease.